Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
