the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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