I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
