On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
