you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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