Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
