I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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