if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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