she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
