I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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