Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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