Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize