Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Everyone says I win the strip club
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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