k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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