he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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