we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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