Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
