C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
