Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
