I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
