how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
