hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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