Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
