It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
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He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
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Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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