Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This is the high leading the old right now
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
