11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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