genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i dont even know how to be here
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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