what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
