Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
