just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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