forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm passing your future prison.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
