I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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