i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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