I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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