Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
