covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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