I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
