I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
