mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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