She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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