I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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