2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
