just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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