: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
