fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
