Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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