Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
