your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
