I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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