In the future we'll all be gay
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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