i think my tv is drunk
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
