Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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