I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
