my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
