I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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