Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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