Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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