Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
