He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
