what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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