And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
