how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
