Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
